The future according to ‘The Great Swami’

Before we get to the Great Swami, I must say a few words about a couple of fine people that passed on last week. First, my “roomie,” former Probate Judge Dave Zeitzheim. He and I, along with several others, went on a ski trip out west many years ago. After the first night, it was decided that we would room together … something about intolerable snoring. We have referred to each other as “Roomie” ever since. I’m going to miss him.

Also longtime Marblehead public servant Bill Davis passed away last week in Florida. His daughter, Diane (Davis) Janowich was an employee of The Beacon back in the 80s, one of the original “Beaconettes.” Both obituaries can be read in this week’s Beacon.

New hours for City Hall in Port Clinton have been announced. They will now be open from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Bonnie Crawford of Bay Township was selected as our “Find Wylie” winner last week. She found our friendly fish hiding in the ad for Kaspar Auto Group on page 6B last week. Bonnie wins a $20 gift card from Friendship Food Stores. We’ll be hiding Wylie again this week. If you find him, just drop off an entry form at our office in the Beacon Place Business Center, or hit the Find Wylie icon at

Ok, it is New Years, so it is time once again for The Great Swami (otherwise known as your slightly cynical Beacon Newspaper Publisher) to predict what Ottawa County will look like in the year 2022. Just having a little fun, OK?
January 2022 — Even though the Walleye Drop is called off, thousands of local revelers pack Port Clinton for New Year’s Eve. At midnight, they pour out of the Waterworks Hotel and Casino complex to celebrate the coming of 2022. Casino Manager Giuseppe Mantalbano says it was a good night all the way round. The bar inside the Casino is called “Rosie’s.”
February 2022 — Valentine’s Day is another big weekend for the Casino. A visitor from Cleveland, Flavio Costenzo, wins the big ticket lottery and walks away with $5 million. However, investigators learn that the program was rigged since Flavio was a personal friend of Manager Mantalbano!!! Mayor Leone says he is shocked! The whole scheme was unraveled by local police chief Cory Carpenter. Veteran Quarterback Robert Griffin III leads the Browns to victory in the Super Bowl over the St. Louis Rams.
March 2022 — ODOT announces that it will begin a major study on a major expansion of both Ohio 53 between Port Clinton and Fremont as well as Ohio 2 between Toledo and Port Clinton in response to the closing of the Ohio Turnpike, which was sold by the state of Ohio 8 years ago to Mangiovani Investments Company. County Commissioners Randy Drummond, Brenda Smith and Larry Hartlaub applaud the decision.
April 2022 — A record hatch of Asian Carp ultimately affirms that the invasive species that appeared in Lake Erie in 2018 has now officially eliminated all native species. While filming his fishing TV show, D’Arcy Egan is struck in the face by a flying carp and knocked off the boat where he is bitten by a Round Goby.
May 2022 — Ed Fitzgerald announces a key strategic partnership with several other business owners on Put-in-Bay to allow gambling on the island. However, the McCann family balks at the proposal, so the primary source of entertainment on the island will continue to be rock ’n’ roll. LONG LIVE ROCK ’N’ ROLL!!! Ageless entertainer Mike “Mad Dog” Adams also commented, but his comments were not printable!
June 2022 — The Miller Boat Line introduces a new high-speed ferry boat, the S.S. Billy Market! It goes from Catawba Point to the Lime Kiln Dock on Put-in-Bay in 3 minutes! To commemorate the maiden voyage, the Lime Kiln dock plays host to 50,000 aging Parrot Heads as Jimmy Buffet performs on the Island.
July 2022 — Lake Erie turns green from heavy phosphorus-laden algae blooms from Monroe to Cleveland. The bloom kills all of the Asian Carp in the Lake. The massive kill is blamed on asbestos contamination from the artificial reefs created in 2012 from the ruins of the old Waterworks Building in Port Clinton.
August 2022 — The Inter-Lake Yachting Association’s annual Sail Regatta at Put-in-Bay draws 357 yachts from all over the Great Lakes. The event has become the No. 1 sailing event in the world!!! For the eighth straight year, former Beacon Publisher John Schaffner wins first overall honors! Oak Harbor joins Genoa and Elmore as a highly desirable residential community fed by the huge expansion of the Materion operation and the expansion at Davis-Besse. Because of the population shift, the County Commissioners announce that they will move the county seat to Oak Harbor.
September 2022 — Eric and Kassie Anderson’s NASCAR team featuring local driver Alonzo Russo, wins the Sprint Cup in Homestead, Fla. Football season begins with the Port Clinton Lakers favored to win the Sandusky Bay Conference championship. However, they lose to Oak Harbor for the sixth straight season as the Rockets go on to the Championship.
October 2022 — A special “Sweetest Day” poll on The Beacon’s website (there are no print newspapers in 2022) establishes former Port Clinton Mayor Debbie Hymore-Tester as the “Sweetest” person in Ottawa County! The city allows a special Goose Hunting day on the Port Clinton City Beach, which had been condemned due to excess goose coli-form pollution.
November 2022 — Jimmy Stefano runs for the 9th District congressional seat held by Chris Redfern and wins a squeaker. Port Clinton Mayor Vince Leone announces that he will organize and appoint an “Ad Hoc” committee to study a potential marina in Port Clinton. “I think this could help revitalize the downtown,” says Leone.
December 2022 — Despite losing only one game to Oak Harbor, the Port Clinton Redskins win their first State Championship in football. Coach Toby Hammond credits the “Redskin Rebuild” program for its dedication and patience in creating the most “state-of-the-art” weight room in Ohio high school football!

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