http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php en Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:07:43 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.thebeacon.net/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=5 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 13:00:24 GMT Image: http://www.thebeacon.net/images/mugs/karen_coffin.jpg By Coach Karen Coffin Can you help children have fun and success in organized... By Coach Karen Coffin

Can you help children have fun and success in organized sports? Can you assist them to be better players? Absolutely. The most important job of parents is to be supportive in ways that keep the sport fun. That’s not always easy to do. What takes place during the ride home is one example.

It’s common for adults to give constructive criticism immediately after a game, and it’s natural to discus an event that has just happened. It feels like the perfect time to talk about what stood out about their performance, good or bad, and comment on it. What tends to happen, however, is the subject turns to what went wrong and how to correct it.

Will it be a positive dialogue? Will the player be grateful for the verbal coaching and understand that their parents love them and have their best interests at heart? Will rehash be welcome?

Well…maybe. Consider these scenarios where a parent’s well intentioned comments are not helpful. You watch a game and see glaring mistakes from Johnny and Becky. Six year old Becky dribbled the wrong way with the soccer ball and scored a goal for the other team. Twelve year old Johnny dropped a fly ball and allowed the winning run to score.

The car ride home has begun. Becky may be wounded because she was embarrassed and Johnny might be fighting to hold back tears because of his error. What parents say and do immediately after a competition is vitally important to a child in their enjoyment of the game! It can also be instrumental in developing kids who can handle adversity and bounce back to tackle a tough job again.

The player is in a vulnerable place. Brief comments that convey your understanding and love are appropriate, especially with young children. A teenager may not welcome any words at all and wants to be left alone. Positive body language, like a pat on the back, is received and remembered. It is a positive teaching moment as to your support for them.

It is a poor teaching moment for a critique or coaching tip. Try to avoid the PGA – the Post Game Analysis. If you chew them out or yell at them for the mistake, they are doubly wounded; from their mistake and from your reaction. If the miles going home are spent correcting them, you make them relive the moment and, especially if you are angry, convey that you are mad at them for not playing well.

Your intention may be to motivate the athlete to try harder and play better. The actual result may be to install fear – the fear of making a mistake as well as the fear of letting you down.

The PGA is generally not welcome and may be resented even if you are positive with most of your comments. It can be an exception if the child initiates the conversation, but even then be cautious about advice. It’s better to let the emotions of the game cool off before talking about it.

At that moment, your child probably needs a change of subject. They also desperately need to know you are proud of them regardless of the outcome of the game. The scoreboard does not determine who the real winners are.

The result of your remarks may be just the opposite of what you intend. Instead of learning what to do correctly the next time, they learn they had better be perfect. They begin to fear making a mistake. Fear equals too much pressure which cancels the fun. The biggest reason for burn out for highly skilled young athletes is pressure. Parents need to be very careful about not adding to that emotion.

Save your advice for another time, preferably when your child asks for it. Avoid the PGA. Go get an ice cream cone and have a relaxed ride home.

Karen Coffin, a retired Port Clinton Girls’ Tennis Coach and elementary school physical education teacher, is member of the P.C.H.S. Athletic Hall of Fame. If you have questions, comments or topics to suggest, write to coachcoffin@cros.net. ]]> schaffnerpub http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=5 http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=4 Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:10:06 GMT By Ronald Mainous The antiwar protests that have emerged during the Iraq intervention revived slogans and clichés of the isolationist movement in... By Ronald Mainous

The antiwar protests that have emerged during the Iraq intervention revived slogans and clichés of the isolationist movement in America before the Second World War. In both cases opponents of military action have claimed that the military action was motivated by evil economic interest.

The “peace at any price people” has almost destroyed our nation on several occasions during the history of our nation. During the civil war, the Democratic candidate for president during the 1864 election, George McClellan, stated he would sign a peace treaty with the South if elected. He actually was ahead in the polls, and if he had won, we would have 2 countries here today. However, before the election, Grant took Vicksburg and Sherman took Atlanta changing the psyche of the Northern electorate.

Before World War 2, there were polls and a large majority of the people in Europe favored peace over resistance to tyranny. In England, the young and the brightest signed the Oxford Union Pledge that they would not fight “for King and country.” In the U.S. only 13 % were willing to see the U.S. go to war with Nazi Germany. FDR showed great leadership by starting the “Lend Lease Program” which probably saved Britain from defeat.

The peaceniks were also against President Reagan’s heavy military budget and his military posturing. But he was able to bury the Soviet Union. Any lesser man would not have been successful and the Cold War would probably have lasted for another 10 years.

Even Pearl Harbor was America’s fault according to the Isolationist. They said it was because of the dire influence of big business.

The Islamofascist are not interested in selling us oil, they want to kill us. Some misguided politician’s think you can negotiate with them, Israel has been negotiating with them for 55 years and nothing; I mean nothing has been accomplished. These people are as much a threat as was Nazi Germany.

Will we be subverted from within as in the past? Since 9/11, the academics have added innumerable courses on Islam on college campuses. The left wing Academics are in their full hate America mode. Norman Mailer compared the ruins at Ground Zero “More beautiful than the buildings. From a professor at Rutgers: “We should be aware that the ultimate cause of 9/11 is the fascism of U.S. foreign policy.” And from a professor at the University of Massachusetts: “{The American flag} is a symbol of terrorism and death and fear and destruction and oppression.

Will we be subverted by the Isolationist and the left wing Academics or shall we learn the lessons of history? ]]> schaffnerpub http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=4 http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=3 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:32:53 GMT By Coach Karen Coffin I recently had the unusual opportunity to talk with a group of parents near Dayton about how to help their children succeed... By Coach Karen Coffin

I recently had the unusual opportunity to talk with a group of parents near Dayton about how to help their children succeed in organized sports. They were a great group, not only because they cared enough to attend the meeting, but because they wanted to discus pertinent topics and situations with the well being of their children a priority. They truly wanted their kids to learn positive lessons from sports as well to have them be successful.

“Should every child play sports?”
“Does our daughter need to specialize in a sport? If so, when?”
“Our son is too competitive.”
“Our son hates competition.”
“My child wants to quit.” Shall I make her finish the season?
“The coach yells at the players all the time. Is this OK?”
“What can we do about the abusive fans?”
“Does my child need to be on a traveling team to get a scholarship?”

It was my experience as a high school head coach, that the overwhelming majority of parents and coaches want to help children have a positive, successful experience, but there is a huge diversity of opinion on how to do that. I am guessing the Beacon readers share that desire to help in a positive way and might welcome suggestions from someone who saw good, bad and ugly methods as a coach and a parent.

I have been privileged to speak to several groups of coaches about having successful teams, but coaches are only part of the equation. Parents are a vital part of their child’s athletic experience and their team’s success. I will try to reach parents through this column and generate discussion about how we can work together to bring the focus back to positive lessons rather winning at all costs.

There will also be columns on how to coach more effectively and perhaps get a different perspective on exactly what makes a winner. Good coaches are always looking for new drills and techniques to incorporate. I hope I can persuade those same people to also learn new ways to deal with players so they can better teach the positive principles that can be learned from sports.

You also need to know that the opinions, observations and solutions are strictly my own, but they are based on over 20 years of coaching at the high school level and teaching physical education in elementary school. Some of what I write may be controversial or uncomfortable to read, but I know there is a groundswell of opinion in this country to redefine the goals for organized sports. We are the silent majority and we are not so silent any more.

Concerned adults are tired of negative responses to competition. In my opinion, the “win at all costs” mentality from pro and college programs has infected youth sports to the point that we treat children like adults and we are seeing harmful results. Burn out, overuse injuries, prima donnas and bad behavior are common. Sportsmanship is under attack. Angry fan behavior has turned violent. Parents have lost perspective when it comes to their child’s ability and future in sport. What has happened to kids just playing to have fun?

I firmly believe playing sports can be a wonderful opportunity for all kids; boys and girls, youth and teens, athletic and uncoordinated, and can teach positive lessons needed in life. Parents and coaches must work together to make sports fun for all. We need to remember that children are not short adults. We need to take back organized sports so that they can make a positive difference in lives. With coaches and parents working together, we can turn out winners in every sense of the word.


Karen Coffin, a retired Port Clinton Girls’ Tennis Coach and elementary school physical education teacher, is member of the P.C.H.S. Athletic Hall of Fame and conducts seminars for coaches. If you have questions, comments or topics to suggest, write to coachcoffin@cros.net. ]]> schaffnerpub http://forum.thebeacon.net/blog.php?b=3