Tell Tales 1-2-19

Dec 30, 2019 | Featured | 0 comments

The Great Swami predictions for 2030

BY JOHN SCHAFFNER

The New Year has arrived, so it is time once again for The Great Swami (otherwise known as your slightly cynical Beacon Newspaper Publisher) to predict what Ottawa County will look like in the year 2027.
Just having a little fun, ok?


January 2030 – The Ohio State Buckeyes, led by fifth-year senior quarterback Jac Alexander from Oak Harbor, rolls over Alabama 31-10 for their 8th National Championship in the past 10 years. The U.S. Senate begins and ends the annual Impeachment Trial with an acquittal of President Jim Jordan. The recently completed 20-story Hyatt Port Clinton hosts the annual Walleye Drop at its site in what used to be known as Waterworks Park.


February 2030 – The Cleveland Browns, led by former Ohio State quarterback Dwayne Haskins, wins the Super Bowl with an exciting 27-24 overtime win over the Chicago Bears. A 16-year veteran, Odell Beckham, Jr. announces his retirement after the game. The Burning Snowman event now held on the Port Clinton City Beach is once again a big success. The highlight of the event was the annual Valentine’s Kissing Contest won by Carl and Mary Ann Koebel. The other competitors protested. They claim Carl just fell asleep!


March 2030 – For the first time in history, the same school wins both the State Wrestling and Basketball Championships in Columbus! Both titles belong to the Oak Harbor Rockets, which represents a “trifecta” for the Rockets since they won the State Football Playoffs in November.


April 2030 – More than 800 fishermen and women created the largest fishing line tangle in American history as they hit the Lake Erie reefs for the annual spawning season. Two days later, that record was broken in Fremont along the banks of the Sandusky River, causing Ohio Attorney General George Wilbur to send out warrants making for 3,000 arrests.


May 2030 – The Jet Express unveils its brand new 320-foot ferry boat that carries over 1,000 passengers and runs at 60 knots, cutting the travel time to Put-in-Bay to 15 minutes. The Walleye Festival draws 80,000 for its four-day run, sponsored by the Hyatt Port Clinton and held in their parking lot. The featured performers are Madonna, Kelly Clarkson and Kanye West. World War II expert and Port Clinton High School graduate, Rick Riley, speaks again at the Memorial Day event in Veterans Park.


June 2030 – The Market family on Put-in-Bay announces the Miller Ferry Boat company will now provide service to Kelley’s Island, as well as Pelee Island and Leamington, Ontario, from its new location on Marblehead. A massive storm dumps 15 inches of rain in the area in six hours, but Port Clinton does not flood thanks to the 2020 Infrastructure Project that was completed in 2024.


July 2030 – Oak Harbor is the place to be for Fourth of July. They built a transient marina as part of their waterfront project in 2021 and the docks are filled with visiting yachtsmen every weekend of the summer. The giant fireworks show lasts 45 minutes. Put-in-Bay revives “Christmas at the Bay,” which goes off without incident. Mayor Mark Mathys credits local law enforcement for their outstanding work.


August 2030 – Port Clinton Safety Service Director, Kent Johnson announces his retirement after 10 years on the job. Olen Martin, back from the Middle East, is named to the post by PC Mayor Roseann Hickman. Thomas McRitchie sails Jeb to victory at the 145th annual I-LYA Regatta at Put-in-Bay. Ottawa County Commissioners Michelle Ish, Diane Rozak and Michael Bassett dedicate the new Ottawa County Walking Trail that starts in Marblehead and ends in Elmore. It is the first of its kind in Ohio.


September 2030 – The great 1970s band The Eagles, led by ageless Joe Walsh, come to Port Clinton for the “Rock the Light” Music Fest which draws over 100,000 and is held in the Hyatt Port Clinton’s parking lot. Dollar General announces it will build a new store at the corner of West and Northwest Catawba Roads. They were denied a building permit by the Catawba Island Trustees led by Diane Belden. Gary Macko wins the Ottawa County Golf Championship at Oak Harbor Golf Club.


October 2030 – The Cleveland Indians win the 2030 World Series on a 10th inning walk off homer by Greg Allen, as they defeat the unbeatable Chicago Cubs. Ageless Carlos Santana hits .433 for the series with three home runs and 12 RBIs. Oak Harbor is designated as a City/Municipality by the State of Ohio and Mike Shadoan files a lawsuit demanding Oak Harbor become the County Seat of Ottawa County.


November 2030 – Barbara Herrington Clemons is unanimously elected to be Commodore of Port Clinton Yacht Club, only the third woman to be elected to that post. Marblehead Mayor Kim Redfern announces a massive Hotel/Convention Center development in the Village. Quentin Babcock is elected Ohio Governor, becoming the youngest person to hold that office in Ohio history.


December 2030 – Davis Besse announces another winter refueling as Ohio Edison announces the plant will remain operational until at least 2050. Dan Almendinger comes out of retirement to serve as a loan officer for Croghan Colonial Bank. Thousands of happy shoppers descend on downtown Port Clinton as the stores are fully rented for the first time in 40 years. Ottawa County has become a Christmas shopping destination thanks in large measure to the 20-story Hyatt Port Clinton, a re-visioning of Port Clinton in 2020, as well as a business expansion in Oak Harbor and Marblehead.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Market Place

Starcher Village ProPeninsula Boat Sales marketplace 0219

Current Weather

First National Bank AdOhler & Holzhauer Ad Oct 2019 - Dec 2019Lake Erie Shores & Island

Calendar

April 2020
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  
Share This